Caught In A Trap

[remus john lupin]

You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie

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WORDS: 800
LYRICS: SARAH MACLACHLAN - ARMS OF AN ANGEL
TAGGED:PLAYER; ELLIE
CHARACTER: FRANK
DRESSED: HOGWARTS UNIFORM
NOTES: Wheee Am so excited dude! XD Hope this is fine.

[frank blaine longbottom]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

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[/s] calligraphy letters. My head is stuck in the clouds. She begs me to come down. Says, "Boy, quit foolin' around". I told her, "I love the view from up here. Warm sun and wind in my ear. We'll watch the world from above. As it turns to the rhythm of love" Frank was sitting in a tree near the pond where Alice and he had met the other day.

Alice was standing below him, her hands at her waist. The bracelet he had made her around his wrist. The colors were bright and super vivid. The color of the sun was shining down on her, highlighting the features in her hair. He smiled softly at the picture. He had finished this page right before James came bursting into the room. He turned to the next page of the pictures. Once again the top of the page held calligraphy of the lyrics. We may only have tonight. But till the morning sun, you're mine. All mine. Play the music low. And sway to the rhythm of love In this picture Frank was in two places. He was holding the guitar, strumming, his fingers set up to strum the first chord in the song. Then he was also holding Alice’s hand guiding her as they danced close together near the same pond under the bright moonlight. The sun barley peeking out of the corner.
My heart beats like a drum. A guitar string to the strum. A beautiful song to be sung. She's got blue eyes deep like the sea. That roll back when she's laughing at me. She rises up like the tide. The moment her lips meet mine

In this picture the calligraphy was small, hinting that this verse was sung quietly. In this picture the slightly buffer Frank was holding his hands up. He was covered in paint, his converse on a rock near the pond. There was a rather large portrait of Alice’s eyes rolling back in her head at him. Frank sighed quietly flipping the pages. Frank had no idea why this was his favorite, but it was. When the moon is low. We can dance in slow motion. And all your tears will subside. All your tears will dry Frank drew this picture of buffer Frank watching as Slytherin retard was breaking Alice’s heart. The next frame was Frank holding Alice, wiping the tears from her eyes. The last frame was of Alice hugging him. It wasn’t exactly romantic, but Frank always made it a point to be there for people. Being there for Alice was all he hoped for these days.

This page was one of the more unique pages. Frank took pride in this picture, he never really admitted he was rather creative but this picture made him smile.And long after I've gone. You'll still be humming along. And I will keep you in my mind. The way you make love so fine Buff frank was sitting next to the pond with his sketchpad out drawing this scene in the page with the lyrics on top. He even had the blue colored pencil out which the words were etched in. Although in his thought bubble was Alice after she had just peeled off her jacket at the pond. Frank slowly flipped to the last page. The last page wasn’t finished yet, but he was almost done. The lyrics this time encircled the whole page as one great circle. We may only have tonight. But till the morning sun, you're mine. All mine.Play the music low. And sway to the rhythm of love. Play the music low. And sway to the rhythm of love. Yeah, sway to the rhythm of love He had already finished buff Frank was holding half drawn Alice’s hand. He was having a hard time deciding how to draw her eyes this time.

After a few minutes of scribbling he had finished the basic sketch of the rest of the image. He then quickly picked up the pack of pencils shading in Alice’s hair. Frank shivered once as a cold wind picked up in the tower. His eyes then dropped to the hands. He had to finish the holding. Frank sketched out the basic of the hands. The wind picked up even more throwing the box of colored pencils all over the ground of the tower. “Seriously?” Frank mumbled under his breath. He was almost done too. Frank set the sketch pad down, starting to collect the pencil when another gust picked up. He gathered what he could see of the pencils turning just in time to see his last sketch break free from under the pad. The pad fell to the ground, Frank dropped all the pencils again running towards the pad. He grabbed all the papers he could stuffing them back into the pack.

Frank sighed quietly to himself as he started un crumbling the art he had shoved into the pack to avoid them blowing away. He searched for the last page. It was nowhere. Frank sighed quietly turning he could see the paper blowing in the distance. Fate was cruel. He shook his head looking at the pencils that continued to roll in the wind. He picked up the box carefully shoving the pencils in when he noticed three colors were missing. Buffer Frank’s hair coloring shades. The tan, the yellow, and the dark brown. He turned watching as the wind was rolling them towards the other side of the tower. Frank froze, no one exactly knew of his art work. He had to hurry up the retrieval before someone saw. Frank’s converse hit against the cobblestone as he ran after the pencils to find that they had rolled towards someone.

Frank noticed a book in someone’s face. He gulped, maybe he could retrieve it without them noticing. Frank tiptoed the best he could towards him, he then paused when he realized it was Remus. Remus? Frank got tired of James and Sirius, but he rarely saw Remus duck out from the duo. “Remus?” Frank questioned momentarily forgetting about the pencils. Frank rubbed the back of his head staring down to his housemate. Remus looked hardly in the mood for talking, but sometimes that’s when people needed to talk the most. “I don’t mean to interrupt,” Frank stated motioning towards his book. “but don’t you have some grand, epic love story to be listening too right about now?” The sarcasm was so evident in his voice, you would have to speak another language not to catch it.

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words;1,605
sumfinpretty;Leather jacket, white v-neck, tight fitting jeans, infamous converse.
who;SHELKE-Remus
what;Wooooow long, cute though =)

[remus john lupin]

You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie

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Well wasn't that a bit rude? Remus frowned at Frank. Maybe he was drawing and it was something totally girly and he was embarrassed out it? Sonnets! He could be writing love poems, soppy 14 lines in iambic pentameter, full of flowery, mushy thoughts for the girl of his dreams. Why else would Frank be mean, when Remus had indeed been minding his own damn business? "Don't you have a sonnet to write? Remus bit back. He wasn't in the mood. He was upset, stressed, guilty and now a bit irritated. Remus moved his cold eyes back to the book more determined than ever to immerse himself in the story presented to him.[/blockquote][/ul]




WORDS: 1840
LYRICS: SARAH MACLACHLAN - ARMS OF AN ANGEL
TAGGED:PLAYER; ELLIE
CHARACTER: FRANK
DRESSED: HOGWARTS UNIFORM
NOTES: I think this is a better one XD

[frank blaine longbottom]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

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[/i] Frank pulled at the ends of his hair shaking his head back and forth. Well that was about a month’s work out the window, literally. Frank felt the lines on his face soften glancing back to Remus. The cold eyes told him to leave, but his heart told him to stay and try to cheer up the poor mate. “Sorry, Remus. I can leave,” Frank of all people knew when he wanted silence, only silence would fulfill it. Frank turned to face where he had been previously sitting, all the supplies scattered the ground. If only he was skilled in a less messy subject. Frank knelt to his haunches, picking up the pencils setting them in the box.

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words;955
sumfinpretty;Leather jacket, white v-neck, tight fitting jeans, infamous converse.
who;SHELKE-Remus
what;AWH REMUS NEEDS A HUGE HUG FROM BUDDY THE ELF. To bad Frankie isn't buddy the elf.

[remus john lupin]

You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie

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[/b] Remus replied quickly. He did not wish Frank to feel he was unhappy with him. He wasn't, not really.

"He's just happy Lily's finally given him the time of day. He isn't like he was the last time I saw him," Remus shrugged. "I guess he learned something over the years," It did seem rather sudden but Remus wasn't interested at the moment. Perhaps he'd talk to James about it in the hope he didn't get called 'soppy' or 'a girl'. James would be very happy with Lily, or so Remus hoped. She was a lovely girl but James had idolized her for the past 6 years and perhaps she was not the same as she was in his head. The mind was powerful and could twist many thoughts. Remus was hopeful though, that everything would work out perfectly between them. Lily would be good for his dark haired friend, and perhaps she could learn a thing or two from him. Remus smiled at the thought of James and Lily. Remus wondered if Frank liked anyone. He was spending a lot of time with Natalie and Alice. He wondered if he was chasing either one of them. Remus always considered Alice to be the best option for him actually. "I'll get a full detailed account later. More than once," Remus smiled. James was soft inside. Remus had always been able to see that.

“I’m afraid I’m not gifted with a choice of words,”

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Remus sighed. His little snap which wouldn't have received more than a shrug and a backing off from his friends (mostly) was earning an explanation from Frank. He was taking for granted that they were used to his 'funny turns' when he would become suddenly moody sometimes over hte slightest of things. It was strange. Sometimes one thing which annoyed him last month wouldn't bother him at all the next. It all depended on how hard the moon tugged at his mind, sloshing it about like grapefruit in a small container. He should have been more careful. Frank didn't deserve being snapped at by a vague friend. A sinking feeling coiled in his gut. He couldn't ruin a frienship over nothing. Remus could be daft sometimes but that would be worse than usual. he was supposed to be clever for goodness sake! What was he thinking? Remus closed his eyes and hung his head. "No. No. It's just me. You shouldn't be apologising. I'm the one who's worry. You didn't deserve that," Remus replied sincerely. He hoped Frank would take the apology seriously. He had had a few laughed off when he wanted them taken seriously.

“Not all of us get the pleasure of logic. Some have to make due with a few pencils and emotions.”

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"I read," Remus replied, giving something in return. Although what Frank had said was not especially revealing. Remus loved reading. Diving into any text helped him cope. His life was hard, especially so recently, not that people would notice the difference between a Remus reading for pleasure and a desperate Remus trying to forget. Usually diving into a different world did the trick. He could pretend to be anyone, anyone at all, with super powers (epic) and a heavy burdenous fate which meant the whole of creation was relying on him to pull through and save the day. Or he could remind himself there were worse people off out there, usually in the muggle world, struggling to cope just as he was. He knew how hard it was for his parents...Remus's thought stopped in its track, tears welling in his eyes. He didn't have parents anymore though now did he? Just his dad. He wasn't sure for how long. He was bitten because he angered a werewolf. How long before something happened to his dad because of his righteous indignation? One day someone was going to go after him and not his relatives. Then Remus would lose his dad too. Remus blinked the tears away, not looking at Frank for the duration. He couldn't cry, not here, not now, not before another guy. It was different with girls, who's emotional side was always open for discussion but not for guys. He didn't want an awkward pat on the shoulder, he wanted a hug damn it! He wanted his mother to be alive and writing him a letter write now asking him how he was doing. he wanted to reply with fond exhasperation that the year had barely begun and that James would probably drive him crazy before Halloween with talk of his love, Lily. He wanted to tell her that apparantly, if his hunch was correct, that Frank Longbottom was an avid artist and had been hiding it for 6 years. "You draw?" Remus asked not able to manage much more than that. Remus looked outside. His hand settled on his wand and he summoned the piece of paper. It was a bit worn by the wind but that was no problem to a wizard. Fixing it he held it out to Frank not saying a word. Frank seemed a little self conscious. "It's not like I'm going to tell. I'm good with secrets,"

Too good. Well...now that he didn't have to lie to the ones he was hanging out with constantly about his disappearances. To be honest keeping you're a werewolf a secret when you're friends with a Potter and a Black was virtually impossible. Their discovery of the truth had been the best thing to happen to him. For the first time accpetance came to him inspite of bieng a monster. It was a special thing indeed. "No. It's OK. I don't mind," Remus said wishing Frank would leave or at least return to his section of the Astronomy Tower and let him be. He felt like he was going to cry again.[/blockquote][/ul]


WORDS: 1300
LYRICS: SARAH MACLACHLAN - ARMS OF AN ANGEL
TAGGED:PLAYER; ELLIE
CHARACTER: FRANK
DRESSED: HOGWARTS UNIFORM
NOTES: He does need a hug! bless him

[frank blaine longbottom]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

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[/i] instead of his exact frame. He was finishing his messed up hair when he glanced back up to Remus.

A bit of silence had been left as he continued sketching. “Sorry, I’ve been told I get into a ‘zone’,” Frank apologized quickly continuing to sketch the various lines that went along with his crazy hair. He finished the outlining on his leather jacket finishing, he stared at it. It was missing something. Frank smiled grabbing a tan pastel from the small box continuing to draw some rectangles floating behind them. He pulled the black pastel and drew some sketches on the rectangles. He then moved his hand back to buff frank. He drew in the sketch he was no drawing in front of Remus. It was strange, he was drawing in front of someone. Natalie was the only one he felt comfortable singing in front of er-well playing in front of. Alice had caught him painting, though she wasn’t the most understanding. Remus was the first one to accept his art, without poking fun at it. Frank finished dropping the pastel into the box. He then carefully turned the sketchpad to Remus.
Frank smiled softly. His hands were covered in pastel colors varying from black to light purple. Frank made a few changes to the current people, less obvious then buff frank.

He left Remus’ scar off, he turned Remus rather saddened expression into a half smile. He drew his eyes a little less puffy, the circles around the eyes a little less dark. Simple imperfections that girls always pointed out, go figure. Frank then rubbed the back of his head with his left hand. “I draw, I guess you could say my desires, or wishes” Frank turned his head back up, he let his right hand fall, his index pointing out buff frank. He couldn’t help but laugh, he could laugh at his own wishes. This was one he couldn’t exactly control so he always made fun of it. “Dam fast metabolisms.” Frank quirked before looking back up to Remus, had he made out that half smile yet?


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words;1,352
sumfinpretty;Leather jacket, white v-neck, tight fitting jeans, infamous converse.
who;SHELKE-Remus
what;Awh Remus.

[remus john lupin]

You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie

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[/i]. Remus liked being needed. And what if there was nothing wrong at all? What if he was seeing things that weren't there because he was going through a rough time? He had no desire to look like an idiot.


“Or Lily said she would kick his arse to the curb and never speak to him again,”


Remus chuckled. "Doubt that would make a difference. She's been saying that for 6 years," It had been long standing tradition that James would moon over Lily, announce his undying love for her several times to her face, she'd say a variation of 'get lost', he'd mourn his failure and it'd begin all over again. It had been amusing for a while until they all realised James was 100% serious and it was a little saddening to see him rejected every time so coldly. Of course Lily had been unable to see the good, generous heart James Potter liked to hide. Remus had seen it in second year when he discovered he was a werewolf. His complete disregard for it, gentleness with him and altered his opinion of him. James proved to be more than the reckless terror he portrayed to the wide world, as did Sirius Black. They had both treated him far kinder than any other person alive, so really, how could he begrudge listening to James drone on about Lily. Remus didn't mind totally. At least now he would hear new information now that James was getting somewhere. "It's good she's seeing there's more to James," There always had been.

Remus chuckled at Frank's antics. Perhaps he was quietly funny, different to the kind of humour he was used to. It was refreshing. He never had talked to Frank all that much but this could be the blossoming of a new and vibrant friendship. Remus had always been wary of getting to know people but his friendships with the Marauders had relaxed him on that front. Of course he coudln't allow Frank to get too close in fear of a violent reaction - even those who claimed to be accepting and open minded tended to react hard against a werewolf. There was nothing stopping them from being good friends though and Remus had decided then that it might be good for him to have friends outside the Marauders and not Lily. Frank and he had spoken before and had good conversations. Seriousness was something Frank could handle meaningful conversations...not that the others couldn't....oh he knew what he meant. How did you describe the marauders anyway? You couldn't paint them all with the same brush because they were all different. Frank was different. That was nice. "No. I guess I'm too used to them shrugging it off so I forget sometimes. It's all bark I promise," Remus said, revealing he was perhaps, more moody than people realised, in his emotionally distressed state. He hadn't even realised he had implied he was generally a moody person because in his head, he was relating it entirely to the full moon. Sure they would have found it a little odd that it was happening now but they wouldn't have questioned it. Some months were more stressful than others. Remus couldn't always pinpoint why.

“Mum preferred it over going outside when I was younger. Even though I would make horrid messes”

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Until this point Remus had a good hold on himself. He should have been able to continue this conversation and get back to the dorms without breaking down. he should have been able to cry in peace behind his curtains, get up before everyone else and erase all the evidence of tear tracks smattering his cheeks. He had been so busy holding up his dad at home that he hadn't had time to grieve when it happened. There had been too much to organise, too much to do. he didn't want to make life any harder for his dad by crying so he didn't. In fact he kind of yelled at him at the grave location which probably wasn't the best of ideas. He left home with an argument under his belt. Then he met Frank and they started talking. He had been doing OK until he mentioned his mother. The combination of 'young' which reminded him of his lost little brother, his affliction, the hard years, and his mother just broke a dam. Tears streamed down his cheeks, no sound uttered (although he wanted to whimper terribly), as he sat watching Frank draw. He never knew Frank was an artist or that his mother had taught him to draw as an outlet. It seemed Frank was more emotional than he had ever let on. Remus had chosen reading and pranks and yet more reading. remus's eyes were completely shiny with tears, unable to see anything but more welling up and spilling from the rims.

remus carefully took the picture and tried his best to peer through the glean. It was missing his puffy eyes, the painful wound on his face, true, but it was very good. It looked like him, a tired him, but him all the same. He wasn't sure how he felt with the mark removed, for having a scratched face was part of him now, but he appreciated the sentiment. No need for the wolf to be marked down in living history huh? "It's very good Frank,"Remus replied, hoarse. "I'm afraid I'm ruining it," He commented, giving it back to Frank before any more tears could drip upon the sketch. [/blockquote][/ul]

[frank blaine longbottom]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

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words;1,111
sumfinpretty;Leather jacket, white v-neck, tight fitting jeans, infamous converse.
who;SHELKE-Remus
what;Lean on me, Remus!

[remus john lupin]

You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie

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[/b]

Then Frank started to sing. Remus chuckled as the words progressed, feeling a little bit better. He had to pull himself in, so as not to cause Frank more discomfort. He had been great, really great so he had to return the favour. No guy wanted to break down in front of another, and no guy wanted another to break down in front of him. What were they to do? Remus was strange in this respect because he was a sensitive guy and didn't mind displays of emotion. If you wanted to cry in front of Remus, have a hug and some comfort then he was happy to do so. He was old for his age, and always had been. he would continue to be old for his age, as the knowledge he acquired would add to the feel of him being 'old'. Why should they fear emotion simply because it could get a little messy? Emotions were how we connected with others and so dealing with those emotions would help solidiify bonds between friends. "Didn't know you were a softie Frank," Remus said nudging the other Gryffindor with his shoulder. He was trying to diffuse the sitution a little, to ease the tension Frank was no doubt feeling. He hadn't laughed. Remus coudln't thank him enough for that. He hadn't make an awkward distasteful joke and Remus respected him more for it. He had behaved rather sweetly, not that he'd tell Frank he thought so. "Sorry I freaked out on you," Remus said quietly.

"It wasn't the war. It wasn't being killed whilst getting the groceries. It was just...disease," Remus said, making a show of brushing pretend lint off his knees.[/blockquote][/ul]


WORDS: 1300
LYRICS: SARAH MACLACHLAN - ARMS OF AN ANGEL
TAGGED:PLAYER; ELLIE
CHARACTER: FRANK
DRESSED: HOGWARTS UNIFORM
NOTES: Awww Franks so sweet! XD

[frank blaine longbottom]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

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[/s] frank. Although it was Remus and seeing that he had totally broke down in front of Frank in tears, Frank felt that he was allowed to poke fun at him. Frank shrugged his shoulders. “I do whatever it takes, to make a friend smile again.” He smiled back at Remus as he apologized for freaking out on him. “Don’t worry about it. Maybe one day I’ll freak out on you,” Frank replied raising both eyebrows, he soon broke out into laughter. He felt like an idiot, in a good sort of accomplished way. Frank listened as Remus began what seemed like a rather sad story. Frank straightened himself up so he could pay attention to the details. Though Remus stopped rather quickly into the story. He bit down on his lip, it had to be about a parent.

For some reason Remus never dated, and you usually cry if it was someone extremely close to you. He wasn’t positive if it was a mother or father. Frank figured this subject would be rather hard for Remus. He had paused for a moment. Frank’s fingers started moving like waves of the ocean. He carefully sketched out a picture of a dinner table, Frank was obviously a younger boy in this version, he sat alone at the end of the table, his mother Augusta sitting very properly in her chair, they were surrounded by millions of great and fabulous riches, but an empty chair laid next to the two characters in the portrait. Both characters started at the empty chair longingly. Frank cleared his throat; he was giving Remus time to recover. “My father was a famous curse breaker. He was my hero, I grew up pretending, drawing comics of Van Arder, the curse breaker to discover the crystal prisims above the three great pyramids, the curse breaker who found the deep ends much. He was always the hero of my stories. But you see, years went on and hero went to zero. He stopped coming home, in fact I hadn’t seen him for six years when he died. But you know the saddest part of the story?” Frank paused.

He wasn’t usually affected by this thought, but tonight it was hitting a little hard. Frank looked back down to the picture turning so Remus could see it. “My father had never been home, so when he died. My mother and I hardly noticed, his will left us enough money so my mother didn’t even have to get a job. The only thing that was off was I never received any mail on my birthday and a present wasn’t under the tree tagged with his name. It was ridiculous, most fathers teach their son how to ride their first broom, and then by my father always gone my mother took the role of the house. She lost much of what was left of her nurturing self to this. Most mothers cared for their sons, most mothers told their sons the storm would end and life would get better.” Frank paused. “Most mothers would tell their sons to grow up and be whatever they wanted to be.” He shrugged once looking back to Remus. “The memories of my father are birthday cards, the memories of my mother are strict rules, forbidding me to ride a broom, and buying me a guitar.”

Frank never realized how pathetic his childhood had been. He’d heard stories about James and Sirius at the Potter’s home. They played pranks and joked around, Peter went to the zoo when he was young. The Potters took in Sirius when he needed a place to go, Augusta would laugh at Frank if he ever asked if a friend could move in. Frank looked back to Remus. “Your loved one might not have died in a vital memory. But did they leave a vital memory?” Frank pushed the sketch pad slowly into Remus’ hands. He would guide the pen and help Remus draw the memory. “Even if it was just a purchased guitar, it’s still a memory, even something as silly as a birthday card every year. A memory Remus, a memory you will always treasure. Drawing it, will help you remember the amazing times,” Frank was hoping for one distinct memory, for all he knew Remus had thousands of memories of this person, Frank was new to the idea, but would make due with whatever he got.


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words;1,134
sumfinpretty;Leather jacket, white v-neck, tight fitting jeans, infamous converse.
who;SHELKE-Remus
what;Small sob story, wahaha

[remus john lupin]

You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie

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All that in a drawing? Remus would be able to draw for a lifetime. He wanted things which would never happen - a lot of things, and not having them all hurt. All the messed up things, scrunched up and twisted hurt which was his life would take a life time to depict in drawings. Frank seemed to be quite good at it but Rems was no good at it surely? He was all reading and letters not soft and hard lines, shading and shadows. he didn't know the first thing about art, drawing and the like. He could read and speak and write both English and French, scripted and old, new and fresh. Remus liked all kinds of books, all kinds of words, all kinds of poetic and linguistic devices. He stared at the picture and wondered if he would be capable of adequately pouring out his heart and soul into a picture. Maybe being adequate didn't matter but it was the act itself was what was theraputic, cathartic. Maybe it would help him deal with all this oil and muck scrumming around inside.

Remus listened sincerely to Frank Longbottom give him advice. Frank was being very nice to him. They didn't know each other that well but already that was changing. All it took was one instant for a relationship to change entirely but he already knew that. It took one torturous night for his relationship to be twisted and squeezed when Sirius tried to kill not only Snape but himself too. It only took a moment to discover your parents hadn't told you the truth about your life and theirs too. it took only a moment to bond and then the world just changed around you. The world had changed, quite a few times for Remus. It started when he went out into that forest and was attacked. He missed his 6th year of life and his seventh was a little sketchy. Then it changed again with a letter and a visit from Headmaster Dumbledore, offering him salvation, a chance to be educated like all the other normal little kids. Dumbledore had given him the chance to be normal, to live as others do and have the one of the few joys in the world. Then when his friends found it they told him they didn't care, and his world which had been twilight from the dark, lit up with lights of vibrant colour. There was Sirius and now his mother and little brother too. There was the war on the edge of their sight and Remus was scared. He was terrified he was going to lsoe his friends to death, to be alone once more, cursed to be by himself forever until he also died. He was more than scared of losing them, one way or another. "No. The pain enver leaves," Remus replied, implying there was more than he was letting on. His haunted tone, his eyes dark and his expression distant as though he was thinking of something else. There were some parts of Remus he had tried to sooth but had failed to miserabely. Maybe drawing would help, as Frank had suggested. remus looked at the item in his hands as though it could speak to him. Did this hold the answers?

Frank was a softie. Remus never knew. why hadn't he been friends with Frank, better friends that is, before? There was more for him to learn about Frnak who was turning out to be different what he imagined. Frank draw pictures, he was, apparantly, very emotional and expressed it through art rather than Remus's method of messy tears and the occasional scream or two. Yup, he was pretty girly, and though he tried to hide it, it tended to spill out into his life with an audience. Remus was very soft hearted himself, which was probably why girls found it easy to speak to him. As much as he liked hte company of the guys, he liked the company of females too, who satisfied a more intellectual/emotional/mature need. The connection with them was often different, often coinciding with his sense of sanity. Frank seemed to have a rather sane way of dealing with his life. remus had come up to the Astronomy Tower, he had come up to hide from the world and himself. What he gained was more than he could have imagined. He gained a small blip of hope provided by a boy he barely knew. It would be nice to have a friend who wasn't a Marauder, Remus thought once again. He found it meant a lot to him. "It never gets better Frank. You just get used to it," Remus said suddenly deciding to stand and face the view. Why was he saying these things? Did he want Frank to ask? No. Not really. He wanted it all to go away but like Frank said it wouldn't. Remus was full of splinters. It was about time he tried to pick a few out, no matter how bloody his fingers got.

Frank had a sad story and Remus felt for him. His story moved him. He smiled sadly at his friend, his new found confidante and fellow sufferer of life. Frank didn't project the idea of being faceted with multiple layers of pain and agony, but this was long standing, deep and dark. Frank didn't need to say what he felt for Remus to udnerstand. So he'd never know what it was like to lose a father and not udnerstand why at the time, to have no one explain it and to find out years later but he knew what pain was. He knew what that gaping hole felt like, a raw and seeping wound which filtered into everything and hurt so much it drove you to seek escape at every opportunity. It wasn't a contest of pain but if someone was going to win it'd be him. Could Frank compete with being a werewolf at 5 years of age? Seeing your mother grief for a son you never knew she had, and grieve for you too even though you were still alive? When Remus found reality he was two and a bit yeras older than he had been so previously, a fact he had ommited from telling his friends. He was both weak and strong at the same time. His frail little body had survived the changes, but his heart and mind had not. He kept most, of his insecurities and troubles hidden and where he failed he hid the severity of it. His friends had no idea how strongly he felt and he wanted to keep it that way. Frank though...Frank was different. Frank had that pain and horror. That wasn't totally fair on Sirius of course, who's family home wasn't a bed of roses like everyone liked to believe. Sirius's home life had been pretty horrible until he went to live with the Potters. They had all suffered in a way. Sirius was affected by it too, just differently. Sirius's hurt was harder to see, even by himself.

Remus looked from Frank to the pad, to Frank again. Now? WEll...what to draw. now? His head was buzzing with so many thoughts that now seemed impossible. For a few moments Remus scratched idly at the pad before he found himself drawing. Remus looked at it and recognised it to be the expression his mother wore when he told her about his friends knowing and not giving two knuts about it. Her face was beaming, a tear dripping from her eye, her eyes twinkling. It wasn't that good, no, but Remus could see it as clear as it happened before him. It was only a happy picture because Frank had pushed him to think of one. It was only a happy picture because he didn't want to distrub Frank with pictures of a decaying woman, or a twisted mental image of himself, or ugly depctions of Sirius in his residual anger towards him, or images of broken little bodies he had been having nightmares about or that damn forest scene he kept trying to recall properly because he just couldn't remember Romulus at all. What kind of brother was he if he couldn't remember his sibling? What kind of person was he?

That was the thing wasn't it? He wasn't a person at all.

"Me mam's dead Frank," he whispered. Obvious perhaps. Remus didn't date, though for all Frank knew he had a secret girl no one knew about. stranger things have happened.[/ul][/blockquote]


WORDS: 1780
LYRICS: SARAH MACLACHLAN - ARMS OF AN ANGEL
TAGGED:PLAYER; ELLIE
CHARACTER: FRANK
DRESSED: HOGWARTS UNIFORM
NOTES: Frank frank frank frank frank frank. Frank makes Remmy feel bettta. *nods* Though telling him to draw is potentially dangerous if anyone finds the drawings of himself and Sirius I have planned. And his we bro. It's not pretty inside his head you know. lmao. I indulge in angst way too much.

[frank blaine longbottom]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

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[remus john lupin]

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Remus smiled sadly. She was indeed a lovely woman. Remus had loved her very much, even more his unfortunate accident, though if he was being honest, he could barely recall his life from age 5 to 7 and so his memories before being 5 were fuzzy too. He had been too young to remember things. She had taken such good care of him since his werewolf corruption. She had a sweet disposition, a kind temprement and was lovely. she had been so patient with him. All he could remember was her smiling eyes, her mouth smiling too but always a hint of sadness that he knew he had put there. He had made both his parents mad with his foolhardiness. Frank didn't seem to have had the same relationship with his own mother. Remus remembered starkly shivering in his bed, painfully, her hand stroking his hair, gentle whispers of comfort after and before the full moon. Some days the pull was great, she'd give him got chocolate, read him stories from books and stay with him all night. His father, equally invovled but still having to work. "She was amazing," She had done more than he could have hope for, for him. Many parents would have turned him away, killed him even, for the crime of being bitten. His parents had not done so. They had welcomed him home, made him well again and continued to remind him that a werewolf wasn't all he was. She was truly special and now she was gone He cursed himself as he began to cry again, tears making tracks down his face. "I didn't think I'd have to lose her," remus said. It was probably an odd thing for a young man to say, but the life expectancy of a werewolf was small. They had always figured they would be burying him, like they had their other son.

Stressed wasn't a big enough word for the strain he was under. Keeping it a secret for the passed 7 years had been hard and impossible at times. Those who knew about his underlying nature were few in number but not all were sympathetic. One Severus Snape had known for some time now, that a fellow student, transformed into a blood thirsty monster once a month and sought to remind him of that fact at every opportunity. He was glad Snape had a lot of respect for Dumbledore who had barred him from spilling it ot the entire world but Remus was sure he had told someone at least. Secrets were difficult to keep at the best of times but Snape had every reason to try and get him expelled. Not only had he allowed his friends to torture the poor Slytherin (not that he liked him at all but that was irrelevant) he occasionally participated especially when he was younger. If he was in Snape's shoes he would have tried to get him expelled too. he wondered what Frank would say if he found out. No matter how well you thought you knew someone you never could tell how they would react. James, Sirius and Peter didn't care. They had changed his life. They had improved it and he was terrified of losing them.

Gently Remus traced her face sadly. "I had told her about my friends," Remus said. She had been so happy they didn't care. Of course, he remembered, that would sound very odd to Frank. "I didn't have any before Hogwarts. All the other kids just didn't get me," he said. It wasn't much but it was somewhat of an explanation right? Only thing was, he was so different (seemingly at least) from the friends he had, that it was reasonable for one to think James and Sirius didn't get him either. Wh ywas he friends wiht them? Even without the werewolf business he was sure he would have been. He was more like them than people realised and they were better than people gave them credit. "Your's is really good. Makes mine pale in comparison,"[/blockquote][/ul]


WORDS: 1367
NOTES: it's a bit rubbish sorry. and apologies for the delay. templated to be added later

[frank blaine longbottom]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

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what;This, this was rubbish!

[remus john lupin]

[/b] Remus gave a watery smile. Ity wasn't fair on them but then life wasn't fair. He knew he was more than a spout of information although it did feel like that was all he was sometimes. They cared. If they didn't then he'd be back home, crying by himself and cursing them for hating him, yet accepting it at the same time. No one liked a werewolf...well...except for his own friends and immediately family, but they were all odd to begin with.

Not letting everything go? Why should he? Remus was a very private person. He kept things locked to the chest, locked up inside with force shields, spelled barriers and mental steel walls. Even the Marauders could have difficulty, sometimes, to punch through the safety catches he had set in place to get to the problem itself let alone the root. Only you couldn't solve the root of any problem because usually it was Remus's mind itself. How can you care that? It was just his personality which sought to punish him over and continously for ever and ever. He was a depressive person, a negative realist with practical insights and insightful musings. He could see what his friends could not. His friends could see what he could not. There was a lot of Remus he didn't understand but he had time to find out. There was a lot of his friends he didn't understand but maybe he wasn't supposed to. Remus believed in secrets: they were healthy. "No," Remus replied a little harsher than he had intended but he wasn't going to apologize. Frank hadn't earned any more passes into his life. He didn't want him to know any more, not yet. He barely knew him. They had talked in the past, sure, but what about? Not a lot. Discussions of House Points, Quidditch Teams, the up and coming war, the evilness of some Slytherins and why his friends were such a pain in the ass sometimes were just lighthearted (although serious) casual discussions between two bonding housemates who were fond but not close. He didn't want to talk about it. Wasn't this about not talking? [/blockquote][/ul]