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Post by frank blaine longbottom on Dec 29, 2010 21:48:13 GMT -6
 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU[/color][/font] W H A T A M I
S U P P O S E D T O S A Y W H E N I ' M A L L
C H O K E D U P A N D Y O U ' R E O K A Y[/color][/font] --------------------------------------------------------------[/color][/center] ------------------------------------------------------------- [/color] template by lowearthorbit of caution[/color][/center] words;1,018
sumfinpretty;FRANKIE,CLICKFOR
who;SHELKE-Remus
what;blaaah caught up on all my posts finally haha [/quote] |
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Post by remus john lupin on Dec 31, 2010 19:05:57 GMT -6
[/b] Remus reiterated. This was probably a little difficult to believe since everyone at Hogwarts (most people) appeared to like him. He had never heard anyone (barring a Slytherin) say anything bad about him, but then agian, he usually closed his ears to anything he didn't want to hear. He was very good at that. Remus had a lot of practice of not hearing what reached his ears. His friends were terrible at forcing this skill out into the world. He often put it into action when his friends were mercilessly bullying Severus Snape (whom he had never called 'Snivellus' in his life). Sometimes, you just couldn't help but hear the words people said. Frank obviously thought it was because no one 'got him' or 'understood' that he was alone as a child. It was true that they hadn't. He had always been a sensitive lad, a little odd in the eyes of many for that reason. He liked reading, he worked hard, he liked studying and to do well in everything he set his mind on. Remus didn't like doing half measures in his life. He may as well go for full steam ahead with everything being done fantastically well, perfectly even. His notes were organised, as was his trunk and drawer. If Sirius was organised it was in a completely different system to him - at least Remus wasn't paying much attention to how his friends' organised his life. The thought of disorgnisation made him squirm. He wasn't obsessive compulsive but he did like organisation and having all his things set out neatly. It helped him think. “It doesn’t bother you, ever?” Did it bother him that his friends demanded use of his notes? Not usually. 99% of the time Remus was perfectly happy to oblige. He did not want them to fail, not ever. He had tried, at one time, to force them to do it themselves but his attempts had failed. Plus it made him feel useful. They didn't like taking notes, no, but helping them out in this way made them feel useful which may be why they insisted on not doing so, so intently. Remus liked, needed even, to feel needed. Ach, he was probably reading far too much into it. Wouldn't it be nice if that was the truth? They were good guys and Remus knew that. A little annoying sometimes yes, but who wasn't? James and Sirius were brash and impulsive but they were thoughtful and caring too. Perhaps it was only Remus who could see that side to them but that was OK. He wasn't about to allow anyone be mean about them. So they used his notes? What of it? It was hardly the greatest crime. Remus shook his head and shrugged. "Not really. Does it bother you?" They were loyal guys and they were nice to him. He would forgive them for almost anything. Remus watched Frank with sadness in his heart. He did not meant to shoot him down so harshly. It was not his intent to shut down the conversation or make Frank feel unwanted. He was a nice guy too and Remus tended to like Nice guys. He was helping him out and he wasn't being very nice. He could get tetchy like that especially around the full moon. The full moon pulled at his mind and body. Remus hated it. Was he here, was he there? Neither. Sometimes Remus just wanted to sleep the day away but force himself to class and not pay a drop of attention, sometimes he'd sleep in bed anyway and force his tired fatigued soaked bones to the hospital wing. other days Remus would simply be annoyed which usually meant the full moon was going to go fine. It had been quite some time since he had felt the need to curl up away from the world, snuggled in warm blankets. That time would come again. Who knew what his future held? His emotional state affected his werewolf state so he was guessing that these next couple of full moons were going to be pretty bad. He was grieving; the wolf would be grieving. He wasn't sure he wanted his friends around. Remus couldn't bare the thought of hurting them. He was afraid some of it would manifest as anger towards them - especially Sirius. The thought of them bleeding and torn because of him, however unaware, made Remus feel sick. "It's been talked about Frank. I just...I just don't want to go over it all again," Remus said softly. Frank was a good artist. When his emtions turned sour he turned to art. It was a good coping mechanism, or so Remus thoought. If it worked then it had to be good-right? Remus looked thoughfully at his pad and started to draw. It was a line drawing with attempts at shading. Tall trees, scary, dark, thick and crowded scrawled together, glued side to side with no leaves. Barron of leaves they stood massive above the ground, the ground was a nondescript line: it wasn't important. The trees continued on in a forest of mystery and lies. What it held you didn't know but all you knew was it wasn't good. Not good at all. Remus attempted some shading to make it dark. The front trees only partially done to represent the glowing moon half hidden in shadows which he coudl see in his mind but was not on the paper. When it was done there was a dark shadowed forest on the page, Remus's breathing deep and heavy. The sight was scary. The sight was terrifying. "Some things are just too big,"[/blockquote][/ul] |
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Post by frank blaine longbottom on Jan 8, 2011 0:10:38 GMT -6
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU [/color][/font] W H A T A M I
S U P P O S E D T O S A Y W H E N I ' M A L L
C H O K E D U P A N D Y O U ' R E O K A Y[/color][/font] --------------------------------------------------------------[/color][/center] ------------------------------------------------------------- [/color] template by lowearthorbit of caution[/color][/center] |
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Post by remus john lupin on Jan 30, 2011 13:13:45 GMT -6
[/b] Remus said, partly as a challenge to Frank. He didn't care about the notes. He wondered what he'd saw though. He knew he was painting the guys in a poor light but they were his friends and he saw them clearly no matter what anyone else though. Remus felt melancholy. He hadn't intended to slam the door in Frank's face but it couldn't be helped. Frank would have to know he was a werewolf before he knew of his troubles and he wasn't going to tell him. Part of the agreement with Dumbledore was no one was to know he was a werewolf; as if he would have willingly informed anyone of his 'condition'. He spent day to day terrified someone would discover the beast within and inform the entire school there was a living, breathing monster in their midst who should be killed right away, or at the very least violently persecuted. He couldn't bring such judgement upon Dumbledore either who risked much by permitting him to learn with all the human children. Here was Frank trying to be nice and he was just being involountarily mean. Their friendship was really getting off to a great start. Befriending people was always a difficulty for Remus Lupin. His social interactions as a child were scant and consisted mostly of running away, or being incredibly awkward. It wasn't until James and Sirius showed him the way that he understood and knew how to act around normal people. His role models were limited to three, though Peter wasn't exactly normal himself. It was just his luck that the models of society were two obsessive nutters from pureblood lines and one was supposed to be evil. Just shows you what the world knows. A Black in Gryffindor, a Potter befriending a Black, a Black being friends with a half-breed - what was the world coming to? There were more surprises in a handful than in a mile and he just didn't know how to explain to Frank that it was just...complicated. Complicated was too simple a word to describe Remus's life at the moment but it was the only adequate one available without attempting to construe one of his own - which always made you look like a twit. Remus was a bit of a twit, always, as his friends at pointed out more than a couple of times. When Remus got an idea in his head, usually one which was negative about himself or the world in general, it was very difficult to dissuade him from such notions. All Gryffindors were stubborn though: it was a trait you required to get in. "I don't like the woods," Remus muttered, staring at the picture as though it was alive. And it was. Inside this head the inky black sky was dotted with stars and whisps of cloud curling around a smug pale orb, gloating its victory over humanity. Inside his heads the trees were giants, looming ominous posts, thick and terrible. In his head the leaves rustled in the slightest breeze, loud as though it was right inside his ear than across the way over there. Inside his head the ground beneath his feet was slightly soft but made very little sound when trod on. Flashes of terror, a little boy running, screaming hit his vision. Suddenly and hard Remus pushed the drawing away refusing to see it anymore. Remus looked at Frank sharply before looking away. As big as you made it? Did that mean Sirius's betrayal was small? Remus frowned. No. No it wasn't small. He wasn't making it bigger because it was huge. His actions had cut deep to the core of Remus and he couldn't just let it go. It was easy for someone to say, but to live it and forgive it was entirely different. Things were not cool on his end with the black haired male. Things had not een cool for a long time now. It wouldn't be cool until Sirius knew what it was he had done from another point of view: his. It wasn't selfish. Sirius had to learn his actions had consequences and this was one. Remus didn't trust him. Not really. Not like he had done so before. He didn't think he could tell him someone, tell him not to tell a soul and expect him not to tell James right away. Yes, they were very close, but he would break that promise to tell James. At first glance it seemed unreasonable but Sirius had told Snape his biggest secret. How could he trusted after that? "Sometimes, things are really just that big," Remus replied. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference,"[/]b] remus said. "Some things you just have to learn to accept, others things you don't have to. Can you do something about it Frank? I can't,"[/b] Remus said. He couldn't change that he was a werewolf, that he once had a brother and that his mother was dead. He coudln't change that he would be shunned and hated all of his life. He could change his distrust of Sirius though . He could change the situation with him, whether Sirius was aware of it or not. But how? Remus didn't know how to bring it up. 'By the way, I can't trust you, let's talk about that?' No. But that was Remus through and through. He always ran away when it came to the difficult things. He couldn't stand any form of confrontation at all.[/blockquote][/justify][/ul] WORDS: 1215 CLAIM: Serenity Prayer/as before NOTES: But meh |
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