LUPIN, remus john

[remus john lupin]

REMUSJOHN LUPIN ,


________________________
"IT'S REAL FOR US. NOT FOR HER.
WE'LL GET THE LETTER, YOU AND ME."
• the basics • the basics • the basics •
________________________

( FULL NAME ) : remus john lupin
( NICKNAMES ) : Rem, Remmy, Moony
( SEX ) : male.
( BLOOD TYPE ) : half-blood - werewolf
( AGE & DOB ) : |March 10 1960
( YEAR ) : 7th year
( HOUSE ) : gryffindor
( AFFILIATION ) : order member/hogwarts student
( SEXUAL ORIENTATION ) : heterosexual
( WAND ) : Rowan 14inch unicorn hair

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________________________
"I CAN'T PRETEND ANYMORE.
YOU'VE CHOSEN YOUR WAY, I'VE CHOSEN MINE."
• the personality • the personality • the personality •
________________________

( LIKES ) : The Marauders: James, Sirius and Peter are his best friends. They mean the world to him and he would do anything for them. He can't believe they don't care he's a werewolf and have gone above and beyond what's expected to assist him during the full moon.

reading - outside and in the library. It is his favourte hobby. Reading English and French Literature is very relaxing and enjoyable to Remus. He also loves learning and so likes to read in depth about the particular subject they are learning at the moment, or go further ahead of he has the time.

writing - Remus likes the simple act of writing. He doesn't mind taking lots of notes because of this.
defence against the dark arts - DADA is by far his favourite subject and his best. remus puts a lot of time and effort into learning this subject, not only because he likes it so much but because he is aware of the oncoming storm. He will need DADA some day and wants to be able to help fighting. Also it's just sensible to learn it and if you like something it's easier to learn.

studying - believe it or not he does like studying. This is because he likes learning and acquiring new knowledge.

getting up to mischief - yup! Sensible Remus does love a good prank. He is a witty fellow and can be quite funny. Sarcastic quips are often dropped by this werewolf. he can also see a good opporunity for prank and mourns the fact he cannot really tae them anymore.

the Map - although they've lost the map to Filch, Remus thinks it's their finest creation. it had taken a good long while to research and make it but it had been invaluable to them all.

an open fire - there's something romantic about an open fire. Remus does love the warmth and reading by a fire is the best thing in the world. It's even better of he's got a cup of hot chocolate/cocoa. Remus is rather sentimental.

forest - the forest where he roams as a wolf is one of his favourite places. He's not afraid of it because he's always in there at some point or another. It's nice when there's nothing trying to kill you.

nature
-
water, the lake etc - Remus finds it very peaceful and pleasant to be out by the lake. He likes to read there, study, and chat with friends, or simply to be on his own with the silence.

all kinds of books - genre and age

helping his friends and others - Remus's need to be liked and please others means he also likes helping them too. There are very few requests which are too much, or too difficult for Remus, who'll try to do anything the Marauders ask of him (even if they don't realise it).

having friends - more than anything in the world. He has to have friends to function happily and well.

chocolate! - Remus does love his chocolate, so much so you can bribe him with it. Withholding it though, when it was promised is a dangerous thing indeed! It maes for an irritated and grouchy werewolf!

tea
teaching others
being needed/relied upon
debates
alphabetical order
being a Prefect
the library
Lily, Frank, Alice,
stretching

( DISLIKES ) : The Full Moon
Silver
Being interuppted whilst reading
Gryffindor losing Quidditch mathes
Being subjected to hours long conversations on Quidditch.
arguing
being angry
snapping at his friends
feeling ill
bullying and people being particularly nasty to someone
the responsibility of trying to reign in his friends (and failing)
detention
noise in the library
being betrayed/disappointed/let down
hurting others
coffee
being unable to get to sleep
the cold: it can seep right into his bones and be almost unbearable - a physical ache
snow and ice
losing house points
dinivination
losing marks on homework and exams when he knew the answer/should have
not getting top grades
the fact James and Sirius seem to be able to sail through their exams with no effort
being alone - he prefers to be alone in company
seeing others upset/ being unable to assist others or to comfort them
tofu
forgetting things



( STRENGTHS ) : powerful wizard: Remus Lupin is a very powerful wizard, and is occasionally exploring the possibility of
attempting small spells wandlessly. He doubts he'd ever be able to stop a large moving object, but he's sure he should be able to light
fire or levitate something. He does this because he's concerned about being disarmed and wants to be able to summon his wand without
having to go pick it up.

Great and Dueling: Remus may look weak and feeble but he's anything but. He can fight better than most people and has an ecclectic
knowledge of spells - how they work and what they do. He has a great understanding of spells and his own power and this helps him
perform admirabley. He's quick physically and of the mind, nimble and agile and can fire off all levels of spells easily.

Polite/courteous.

Forgiving: Remus is a very forgiving person and this means he is also very agreeable too. He's easy to get on with and pleasant to be around.
It also means he's reliable and steadfast because he's consistant and fair. He believes in fairness and equality and doesn't put up with
cheating in games but doens't hold grudges or seek vengeance for anything (even almost getting him killed).

tactful: Remus is mindful of other people's feeligns. Being sensitive himself he finds it best to word his sentences in a certain way so not
to hurt others or rub them the wrong way. He often finds himself explaining what his friends meant because they can be too honest, too
blunt with their words.

heightened sight, hearing, sense of smell and agility.

Highly perceptive: Remus can see what others cannot because he stands at a distance from most situations. He's got a clear and level head
which allows him to see past some deceptions (especially his friends), and his highly intuitive.

( WEAKNESSES ) : silver: as a werewolf Remus is allergic to any form or quantity of silver. It burns his skin, causing great discomfort
and even proper burns. He can smell it though and can stay away from it.

Too kind: Remus can be too kind, and seeing the good in others means he can overlook the bad which may be more prominant or
dangerous. He is someone others can walk over for a lengthy period but even Remus has his limits and will be firm in his refusals.
On the whole Remus bends over backwards for those he likes.

Too accommodating: even if Remus doesn't necessarily have enough time he'll do his best to fit helping others into his regime. He'll even
ditch his own homework to help someone else in need if they're really stuck. Often he makes his notes especially clear so Sirius and James
can copy them - and has written a few parts of their homework over the years. He'll help people even if he's really not feeling well either.

Tooo forgiving.

CAn be too serious: Remus can be too serious which can make his seem very solemn and sad. Whilst Remus can be solemn and sad, this
hides the fact he's mischieveous and really quite playful.

Likes to be liked: Remus has been disliked and abused for a lot of his life and so when he finds someone who does like him, he does his
best to ensure they continue to do so. He does not like giving them any reason to change their minds and is constantly fearful that they
will. He loves pleasing people and will often bend over backwards to do so.

( RIDDIKULUS! ) : The full moon which presents itself as a crystal orb only and can be difficult to identify.
( EXPECTO PATRONUM! ) : Although leading up to this point and been terrifying, Remus's best memory is when his friends
discovered his lycan nature and informed him that in no uncertain terms that they did not care one little bit. A rival memory is
discovering and realising how much he must mean to them because they worked so hard to become Animagi on their own - a very
difficult and dangerous feat.
( DEMENTOR'S KISS ) : Being informed in the hospital wing that Sirius Black and betrayed him to Severus, a stunt which
could have got them both killed - making Remus a murderer, or at the very least turning Severus.
( MIRROR OF ERISED ) : To be accepted and liked by others despite being a werewolf/ for there one day to be a kind of cure.
( PET PEEVES ) : popping chewing gum
being prodded in the ribs
being interrupted whilst reading
slupring
the scrabbling noise when the liquid is almost finished as it goes through a straw
Sirius being hyper when he's tired
his books and homeowork becoming disorganised
dog ears (leaves of books)
broken spines (books)
Writing on books
being wrong when he was sure he was right
( PERSONALITY ) : Remus is an extremely kind and generous individual. He is also very polite and courteous.
Being denied basic human rights and treated like dirt, he treats others how he wishes to be treated. His poor experiences in life -
ones that are filled with fear from others towards his kind, and his own fear towards the magical community - Remus became a
secretive, quiet, and reserved boy. Remus is terrified that people will discover his lycanthropic tendencies. Werewolves are not
received well: generally they are met with a thick wall of hate and fear. The world’s perception of his has affected Remus’s views of
himself as he believes himself too dangerous and poor to have a normal romantic relationship. Although he tries desperately not to,
he can’t help but see himself as worth less than everyone else whom he terms as ‘whole’. This is not a way of thinking that would be
easily contradicted by friends or loved ones. The new legislations and articles etc about werewolves always upset him but he tries
not to show it. He tends not to read such things because he knows the affect him adversely and can send his mood plummeting.

Remus is a naturally shy young man especially around the ladies. He has no idea how to react to them romantically, especially
when he sees himself as a monster. He is extremely guarded because of his condition and finds it next to impossible to connect with
people deeply. He finds to do so would make him too vulnerable to exposure ( i.e hate and fear). Even towards people he knows very
well he is guarded and stubborn. He does not want to be a liability or treated differently because he is often ill or very tired. Remus
fears being seen as weak or anything less than human. With Peter, James’s and Sirius’s help he learned to accept reality, but it only
put the fears at the back of his mind: they never truly left. Now that Voldemort is gaining power Remus is terrified of being seen as
Dark and is now locking himself back up into his heart and head.

Remus is a very loyal creature. It is rare to find anyone willing to be friends with a werewolf let alone enthusiastic best friends, who
would commit themselves to learning advanced magic for his benefit. He was and is amazed by their loyalty and kindness to him.
As a result he would do nothing to jeopardize their relationship. He is also brave as he is loyal, and is willing to die for his friends
and his cause. No amount of pain would cause him to reveal information or change sides. He feels a great amount of attatchment and
'owing' towards his friends for what they have done for him; not only did they accept him, they strove to make his life a little easier and
a little less lonely. This means Remus, when he was the only Prefect among them, was very lenient upon them, often pretending not
to notice their cruel behaviour. He never did like their treatment of Severus but always felt unable to call them upon it because he owed
them (and the constant, slight, lingering fear that they would try and use their keeping his werewolf status a secret).

Remus is mentally and emotionally very strong but everyone has their limits. Seeing yourself as a monster does damage a person,
especially when everyone else agrees. Remus is prone to depression although he never lets this show. Remus is a master at hiding
his emotions and his own best friends wouldn’t be able to see his despairing loneliness, and self degrading attitude. He has been
told for so long by the world that he was worthless, and less than human, so has begun to believe it. Now with the magical community
on high alert Remus feels more so like a half breed, especially when no one knows who they can trust.

Remus’s anguish isn’t displaced openly. His stress, dispair, anxiety is displayed in his wolf form. The more distraught and unhappy
he is the worse the transformation. He doesn't like to be a burden or openly show something which people could pick on. He doesn't
like to be seen as vulnerable, fragile or delicate. He is a very powerful, strong wizard and although he looks as though one spell will
finish him off, he can more than hold his own, and can actually win most, if not all, duels.

Although it is not immediately obvious, especially since he is quiet and shy, Remus has a mischievous streak that was cultivated by
being a Marauder. Although he is the most reasonable and level headed of the group, his extreme gratefulness towards his friends
meant that he was unable to reprimand them when the situation called for it, so he pretended not to notice. His mischieviousness
is often outweighed by his conscienciousness and seriousness. He's practical and highly organised, even when helping planning pranks.
Remus always likes to have the plan secure in all their minds before they go ahead with it - a vague idea isn't something Remus is comfortable
with. However, he has been known to indulge in improvisation if things don't go quite according to plan and can easily adapt to any
situation.

Remus likes peace and tranquillity. Whilst at Hogwarts he loved to sit in the Library or by the Lake and read. Nature was something
that appealed to him but he always hated and feared the moon. Books, of all types, can serve as an escape for him. Whether he's reading
classical or new fiction, or a factual book, it can suck him in and swallow him completely. he can go into a kind of trance whilst reading
which cannot be broken by just talking to him. Remus can also become annoyed if he's interrupted when he's enjoying himself. Around
the fullmoon, when the pull begins, Remus is often irritated about his lack of concentration.

He is also a little jaded and doesn’t expect much from others. Kindness always surprises him and he never expects it to last.
He treats every day as something special because you never know when you’re time is up. It also takes a lot to get Remus annoyed unless
it's near the full moon. He's very patient and forgiving and easily puts up with more grating personalities.

He is a very witty person as well as being intelligent, often described as a book worm. He lacks the ability to manipulate people but
has great observation skills and rarely anything passes by unnoticed. There is always more to Remus, something else to be revealed,
and his wit is one of them. He is quick with the light sarcasms which never fail to amuse, but he'll claim that's because he's got such a
good inspiration (i.e Sirius or James).

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________________________
"DID YOU LIKE QUESTION TEN, MOONY?"
"LOVED IT. 'GIVE FIVE SIGNS THAT IDENTIFY THE WEREWOLF.'"
• the appearance • the appearance • the appearance •
________________________

( HAIR ) : Remus's hair is beginning to thin and go grey already. He doesn't like the fact
he ages far quicker than anyone else, especially when the signs are visible against others of his own age. However he quite likes his
currently shoulder length hair which often has a bit of a wave in it. His hair is golden brown.
( EYES ) : Remus has golden brown eyes which are extremely expressive and emotive. Remus holds his entire world in those eyes.
When he's hiding something, is hurt or upset, often most don't realise until he's already pulled himself back together or has nearly
crumbled completely. However the Marauders who know him so well will be able to see right through Remus because of his eyes. There is
no hiding from his friends (but he'll try anyway). His eyelashes are long for a boy and his eyes oval.
( BODY STRUCTURE ) : Remus is about 6 feet and is quite lanky. He does have some muscles so most would describe him as lean
(but he just says he's skinny). He's very slim because his metabolism is extremely fast due to being a werewolf and often finds himself too
ill to contemplate eating. He has long limbs and appears to be rather delicate - as though a simple spell would be enough to defeat him.
( ATTIRE ) : Remus comes from a poor family and so doesn't have enough money to buy new robes when his old ones are done,
let alone by lavish ones. Remus therefore often wears clothes which are threadbare and patched. He doesn't mind though.
( DISTINGUISHED ) : Remus Lupin's body is covered in scars. His arms, legs and thorax are scarred from his werewolf attacking
itself during the full moon. His face however is not scarred but does suffer a few scratches every now and then. His initial bite mark is
one his left shoulder which can ache especially when highly stressed and can seize. He also looks older than his 17 years.
( PLAY-BY ) : Anton Yechlin

________________________
"DOESN'T YOUR DAD LIKE MAGIC?"
"HE DOESN'T LIKE ANYTHING, MUCH."
• the history • the history • the history •
________________________

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( PARENTS ) : Renee Lupin - mother - deceased

( SIBLINGS ) : Romulus Lupin - deceased - died aged 3
( OTHERS ) : Important people - James Potter, Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew
( HISTORY ) : Remus Lupin was born on March 10 1960. Some five years later he was bitten in the woods by Fenrir Greyback after ignoring his parents’ warnings. Remus was normally an obedient well mannered boy and to this day continues to be polite. However being young and innocent he did not realise, nor understand, the reason for his parents’ decision. Despite their wishes for him to come inside, he wandered into the woods and was bitten by Greyback whom his father offended. He, along with his brother Romulus who had followed him out without him realising until it was too late, were brutally attacked by Fenrir Greyback. Remus wouldnot learn who had attacked them until more than a decade later. Terrified he screaming alerted
his parents to their distress. He lost much blood in the attack which left a permanent scar on his shoulder and life long affliction, as well as his three year old brother, whom he has only a vague concept of. As a result Remus became accustomed to pain at a very young age.

It took Remus a while to fully understand the consequences of his actions, and felt deep remorse for the pain and anguish he caused
his parents. It wasn’t until later when he realised he would be denied a place at Hogwarts did he feel loss for himself.

Remus became determined never to disappoint and always obeyed his parents. He had to for it was too dangerous for him to be seen as a liability, or rogue werewolf. Every month, once a month, he experienced horrendous pain and was ill for three weeks afterwards. It wasn’t until his body grew and became stronger that this period of sickness after the full moon shortened to around a week on the worse occasions.

All his life he was treated awfully by others. Muggle kids always laughed at him, poked fun at him and kept asking why he looked so sickly. Older and bigger kids bullied him because he was an easy target and Remus had no idea how to defend himself. Wizarding kids, who's parents discovered what he was, turned against him as quickly as fire, rendering him an outcast and tossed violently aside. Remus was often coming home from trips out the house terribly upset, with tears streaming down his face. He didn't leave his home until he was 7,two years after the attack - his sixth year was spent in pained confusion, one full moon blurring into another. They had not thought he would survive. After being bullied one too many times, Remus refused to leave his home and his social skills degraded. The Lupins moved
to France where he learned French because the prices were cheaper - however he was still elligable for Hogwarts. Over the years he learned to love both French and English (muggle) literature and can often be seen reading it.

After Professor Dippet steped down as Headmaster of Hogwarts Ablus Dumbledore, his successor, granted Remus a place at the school. The placement was on the basis of the condition that he transformed in the Shrieking Shack, yet to earn its name, in Hogsmeade.The Whomping Willow was planted that year as a deterrent towards students, so they would not discover the secret passage
underneath.

Remus quickly fell in with Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, and Sirius Black. Together they caused mayhem and mischief much to the displeasure and amusement of the staff - and other students. He may be the responsible one and is the one to pull them back but he is by no means not invovled with their mischief. To the outside world he may be seen as simply 'with them', but he is truly friends with them all. Before becoming Prefect Remus would help planning, for he always wanted them to have a proper strategy in place so things could go smoothly and according to plan. He was also more than happy (thrilled even) to help with the Marauder's map. Later Remus backed
off because he didn't want to lose is Prefect badge and status, and as such couldn't explicitly assist them in their pranks, but did turn a blind eye and a couple of times make their pranks possible bye ensuring Prefect patrols were elsewhere at the time of the prank.

During his second year at Hogwarts, despite all his attempts, his lies about where he went once a month quickly grew thin and his friends discovered the truth. Remus became more and more worried about his increasingly suspicious friends discovering the truth. Nightmares began to ravage his sleep: images of them finding out and informing the whole school; scorning him; hexing him; Sirius calling him a Dark Creature and James backing him up; of Peter squeaking it out and looking at him in utter terror; of violently attacking his friends as the monster which should only be released once a month took over his mind during his waking hours. As a reult Remus began to refuse sleeping and had big black circles permanently around his eyes. When they found out his distress led him to go out of the castle into the cold and raining night where he found comfort in the chill, but his fears were unjustified, and he discovered they didn’t care. Remus, at first, couldn't believe they wouldn't care their friend was actually a raving murdering monster but as James and Sirius pointed out it was only once a month and he hadn't eaten them yet - so it was unlikely he ws ever going to. In fact their support
improved his mood vastly.

During his time at Hogwarts he co-founded the Marauders Map and contributed much to its successful completion.

He was a quick study and worked hard. Remus always liked to read books, educational or otherwise. He got great grades whilst at school and always let his friends copy his notes - although if he was annoyed he would with hold this privilege. ( He would usually cave shortly after declaring so however). His desire to be please and crippling need to be liked meant he couldn't admonish them for bullying Snape, or refuse them properly in any manner.

During his fifth year at Hogwarts James, Sirius and Peter astounded Remus by becoming Animagi. At first he was resistant to the display of rebellion and disregard of Dumbedore’s trust, but was eventually won over by the prospect. Soon all guilt and thoughts of betrayal was washed away with the knowledge that the wolf was becoming tamer under their influence and he was not in as nearly as much pain afterwards. Soon they were excitedly planning their next jaunt at the full moon. Jame’s often referred to Remus’s condition as his ‘furry little problem’ giving many people the impression he owned a ‘badly behaved rabbit’.

Remus always disproved of their torture and extreme bullying of Severus Snape but could never bring himself to confront his friends about it. Even though he knew they were his best friends, Remus’s heart feared they would throw his condition back in his face saying they would tell everyone if he tried to stop them. He was too grateful for their friendship to let anything get in the way, and so allowed them to be merciless in their bullying. He pretended not to see even as a Prefect. Although when Remus gained this title he himself hardly got into detention anymore. Being blindly loyal and faithful Remus forgave all their faults and loved them all fiercely.

It was sixth year that put a strain on their relationship. Sirius Black, who had always hated Severus, decided to inform the nosey
Slytherin how to gain access to the Shrieking Shack. Had James Potter not wanted Severus dead, or for Remus to be the cause, Snapecould have been killed or worse turned into a werewolf. Remus would have been devastated emotionally, and mentally, and perhap even exterminated - a consequence Sirius failed to think of. Luckily however, James saved Severus’s life, making the boy hate the Marauders even more, although he did keep his mouth shut about Remus’s condition which he was more than grateful about. He always treats Severus with courtesy and respect and takes any insults that are thrown at him (he did almost kill him). Remus had been heartbroken, disappointed, and devastatingly angry that Sirius had tried to use him to kill Snape. This lead to a period of estrangementbetween them where Remus would only interact with Sirius if absolutely necessary i.e in class. By the end of their estrangement Remus found himself missing Sirius terribly and forgave him the transgression. However he is still terribly hurt that Sirius felt Severus deserved it and still doesn't fully understand what he did. It has crossed his mind that perhaps Sirius didn't care what happened to him as long as the world was rid of Severus Snape, but this thought was too horrible for Remus to bear and so he cast it from himself.

Remus recently discovered he had a younger brother who was killed in the attack which turned him. Also over the summer his mother passed away from grief, stress and cancer, leaving Remus devastated.

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________________________
"MY WHOLE FAMILY HAVE BEEN IN SLYTHERIN."
"BLIMEY, AND I THOUGHT YOU SEEMED ALL RIGHT!"
• the handler • the handler • the handler •
________________________

( ALIAS ) : Shelke
( AGE ) : adult
( EXPERIENCE ) : 3 years 4 months
( CONTACT INFO ) : [e-mail]
( HOW'D YOU FIND US? ) : umm.....can't remember now
( ROLEPLAY EXAMPLE ) : can be of any quality or quantity, and from any site genre you wish.

Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer - post series five Buffy/series 2 Angel

Sunnydale nicked name Sunnyhell reflected it's true nature in the dim concrete, the grime , the slime, the demons who popped out at
every shadow when you knew where to look, the lingering darkness when dawn broke over the bone dry dirt. Wasthere a person who truly loved the small, demon filled town in which they lived? The streets lined with the dullest grey, paved the way from A to B to C with effort. The distance stretched between localities spoke of harship, wear and tear. It was always uncertain whether you would arrive at your destination or vanish like a breeze rustling trees, or a puff of smoke swirling aimlessly as it wandered. Sunny sunny sunnydale was hell on Earth. Everyone who had spent any length of time within its boundaries would testify to that. Secluded from civilisation it was a miracle they survived so cut off from the world. You didn't visit Sunnydale unless you were called by the tendrils seeping from the gaping wound beneath your feet. Standing tall on the ground, without another sense, without seeing it for yourself you would never know the ground could swallow you whole. The world had teeth and whether it bit you or swallowed you whole all depending on your
position in life. Sometimes it wasn't best to run away, survive and live to fight another day. Sometimes that was worse. It made you
think, if the world had teeth coud it scream? The loud chattering, clanging voices of the peoples ringing out into the endless black as the world swallowed them whole, chewed and grinned. Sunnydale was just a tiny set of jaws, working it's vengeance on the life it hated so much. It spewed vengeance, black and acrid, dripping, gushing, gurgling it's acid hate.

Faith Lehane had never wanted to come to the place where her world had not only turned to dust but exploded and grit flew into her eyes, blurring her vision violently as she struggled to free herself from the all consuming bitterness. Sunnydale spelled the end for many, not just Faith Lehane. It would spell the end for many more within its clutches, before night fell, before dawn broke, before the week was up. The plans in store were elusive like black ice, slippery and unseen until you hit the patch where the world goes off kilter and there is no control. You can not control nature, gravity, the forces of the world so strong and powerful they will do what they wish no matter how much you plead. Pleading never got you anywhere. Faith learned a long time ago the repeition of words in a pathetic tone only spurrned the scorn you were so desperately trying to prevent. Prevention only ever worked after the fact. The tornado had to it, the hurricane had to rage, the gale had to rip up the ground before such measures would be implimented. Prevention was always too
late. Faith could have done no more to prevent the pain caused here than she could have changed her entire pesonality over night. Even now the beast within raged, caged and prowled. It stalked her core, dampened by mist, the veil of conscience which clouded the world in regretful shades of grey. It wanted to be free but the iron bars held firm. They were reinforced with words etched deep into the constructs, forcing her nature down, keeping her instincts flat. Whether self destruction came first or last, the mess inbetween meant more hatred for herself and if there was one thing this Slayer was certain of, it was this; she was tired of hatred. The icy ink smudge of seeping claws, sinking deeper and deeper, numbing the very core, burning all in its path. The only way to understand hatred was to become it. The only way to live with it was to give yourself over to the empty drive until all reason and cause has faded and al lthere is, is the icy brink calling you back. There comes a time when you fail to remember what it is you're fighting for but continue because it's all you know. It's all you are. It's all you will be for the rest of time. You don't just recover from tearing yourself down from
the inside out and then the world outside. You had to hunt to find the pieces scattered in the wind. Perhaps you'd never find them all.

Sunnydale certainly would never find it's pieces. the jigsaw would remain forever broken, a sad and empty charade, clinging to
normality with mesh threads. What was normal here? There was no normal in a world that could kill you in more ways than you could live. There was no normal in a place where right and wrong often became each other and the same. There was no normal in a world where one girl has to fight because some ancient calling told her to. Who's to say it wasn't redundant? They had Angel didn't they? They had people like, Oh God, Wesley, who fought demons and saved the day. They had people like Xander and Willow who all did their bit even if it was from the sidelines cheering with clackers and party whistles. Perhaps they were not good enough because they weren't given a status. Perhaps the world would never recognise them for what they truly were because some ancient people hadn't decided it. Because some higher power hadn't decreed it so. Life was nothing unless it was ordained by a force so mighty and powerful it demanded worship even if it asked for none. Life was nothing unless it was being lead. People didn't know what to do. They were transient, unstable and fragile in a world which treated sanity, emotions and life with a bulldozer. If you survived the first wave there was always another tonn weight until you eventually drowned. People say it's suicide if you kill youerself but Faith didn't believe so.
Either way the world had killed you. The Powers had killed you. Sunnydale could kill you. It seemed to be one of the few locations in the world which appeared to have thoughts of its own. It bent its will on the inhabitants with a subtle fury and a cunning rage. You would know it's hateful desires before the end.

The Slayer could have gone to the Bronze where the music was loud, the dancing was free, the drinks were free and the males insatiable. She coudl ahve been bopping to the thrumping bob of the base, booming against the walls, rattling brains and sneaking up people's toes to their heads. She could have been anywhere if she wanted to be. Faith was an impulsive chick and right now she didn't want to battle her way through the jealous bitches as she tempted htier boyfriends, rub against guys and pretend she was going to give them anythinthey wanted. There was really no where she coudl go without being talked about, feared, noticed, watched. FAith didn't fancy having to deal with any of the fuzz, geared up to the nines, determined to drag her back to the cushy little hell cell she had been shacked up in. The cretons lurking in Willy's weren't inclined to dial 911 let alone know the significance of three little digits, so innocent and proud. They screamed to humans. The spoke of danger, fear and comfort and hope. They were neon bright signs battling the world for
attention, standing stiff, declaring themselves with conviction and haste. Willy's was quiet, subtle, scrummy and definately not the
place where the faint hearted go. That was OK. Faith could handle herself with little effort but she foresaw now trouble. People, demons included, usually went out fora drink because they wented a little alone time (when they went to a creepy bar like Willy's they did anyway). There would be no trouble. Faith would ensure them she wasn't there to stake the place out, to burn it down and laugh as the flames liked their already molten mottled skin. If it came to that it was their own damn fault and there was no apology escaping from her. None. She would not apologise for seeking vengeance or being pushed to a place she not longer wanted to visit. She could find the darkness easily enough. Surviving and pushing it back was the difficult part.

Dressed respectably Faith walked the short, cool distance to Willy's Place. Sure enough the snivelly weasel was lurking behind the bar watching proceedings with his beetle black eyes, fingers skittering over a glass before he scurried in the opposite direction of her well timed wink. Let him squeak. Faith would be satisfied with the glances of fear as he tired to assess her but wouldn't dare attempt to tell her to back off or leave. That would be too dangerous for Willy the slippery snitch. Too dangerous when stories had circulated about Faith, the Psycho, Lehane. Rogue Slayer legends tended to linger. Faith had been content to look around. The idea had been to grab seat, drink a little, relax a little, leave. NOt now. Not after seeing high class trouble in a suit spilled across the counter as she dribbled into a puddle. Faith stalked over. Oh yes she remembered smooth talking Lilah Morgan. She had seen that spark of fear in her eyes.
Fear was good when it came to those trying to mess with her ensouled vampire mentor. You had to be careful. Uneducated she may bebut Faith has a memory of an elephant. Tightly she grasped Lilah's hair. "Well if it isn't the sneaky lawyer who thinks she's got class and dignity. Trying to bring some priviledge to the downtrodden?"

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"WEIRDOS, THAT'S WHAT YOU TWO ARE.
IT'S GOOD YOU'RE BEING SEPARATED FROM NORMAL PEOPLE."
• the credits • the credits • the credits •
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heyyy. this application was made by salinaa! of caution 2.0.
don't steal or she'll come to you in the middle of the night and
own you up with her mad ninja skillz. word up, fo shizzle drizzle.
all quotes from the amazing series of harry potter. go read them!
fill it out completely or you'll get nowhere. if you're a canon,
make sure to check your facts. if you're an original, then, well,
go crazy, yo. specifics are nice, but no two-page long histories.
be creative! oh, and please, don't forget: have fun! that is, after
all, what roleplaying is really all about in the long run. <3

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[natalie dawn giles]

Dear Mr. Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Through Undead Eyes. Please find enclosed a list of all steps you should take now that you've been accepted.

Yours sincerely,
Rachel
_Rachel
^co-admin